Parent's Question of the Week:
How can I help my daughter when she is feeling angry? She can get intensely angry and seems inconsolable.
Great Question! First of all, I'm proud of you for giving this some thought. It is difficult to watch our kids having a hard time. All you want to do is make it better and this is coming from a place of love. I like to talk about about anger as a natural emotion rather than a "bad feeling". Bad things sound like something that should be squashed. Let's get anger out in the open by finding a calm time to discuss it with our children and brainstorm ways to manage the feeling.
Aside from talking about feelings, these ideas help:
-take a calming, deep breath
-get/give a hug
-draw a picture of the anger
-recall a happy memory
-do something that's safely physically active (jumping rope for example)
I'm interested in helping children understand their mind/body connection. Acknowledge what you noticed when your child became angry. "That really got you worked up. I noticed your clenched fists and that your breathing changed." This helps your child learn to self-identify when angry feelings are setting in. I notice that kids who can monitor their feelings have a greater sense of empowerment in this area.
Aysha Hagene, LCPC
Simply Counseling, LLC
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