By: Aysha Hagene, LCPC, owner of Simply Counseling, LLC
I am a psychotherapist who provides grief work and I believe creating dialogue is an important part of healing. I want to share with you my personal experience with the grieving process when I lost my mother to suicide. I know that one of the hardest things about grieving the loss of a loved one by suicide is often the feeling of guilt and the sting of stigma associated with suicide. At times you may wonder whether what you are experiencing is ‘normal'. You might have lots of unanswered questions and wonder if you could have done something to prevent the tragedy. It is important to take things slowly and pay attention to your inner voice. Listen to your grief.
Even though, logically, you know your loved one has died, you need time to reconcile what has happened and to work out what is best for you. Unfortunately, at a time when you are likely to be most vulnerable, grieving requires you to become your best advocate by speaking up for what you need.
The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention - http://www.afsp.org/ - hosts an annual Out of the Darkness Overnight Walk which raises funds for research and education on suicide prevention and depression. Most empowering, is that this 18 mile overnight walk helped me to take a bold step in bringing my mother's suicide out of the darkness and into the light. I received support from friends as I shared my story and began the walk after the opening ceremony event at sunset. I walked all night and shared a midnight meal with other survivors experiencing different stages of grief. I created a luminary in honor of my mother and placed the bag with the countless others, lighting a beautiful path. I felt for the first time that I was not alone. When the sun rose, I felt a renewing warmth and gratitude for the sense of closure the walk bestowed upon me. This experience changed my life for the better and I feel inspired to help others and facilitate groups to foster healing in new ways. I no longer chase the sunrise but I'll always be grateful for the journey.
Even though, logically, you know your loved one has died, you need time to reconcile what has happened and to work out what is best for you. Unfortunately, at a time when you are likely to be most vulnerable, grieving requires you to become your best advocate by speaking up for what you need.
The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention - http://www.afsp.org/ - hosts an annual Out of the Darkness Overnight Walk which raises funds for research and education on suicide prevention and depression. Most empowering, is that this 18 mile overnight walk helped me to take a bold step in bringing my mother's suicide out of the darkness and into the light. I received support from friends as I shared my story and began the walk after the opening ceremony event at sunset. I walked all night and shared a midnight meal with other survivors experiencing different stages of grief. I created a luminary in honor of my mother and placed the bag with the countless others, lighting a beautiful path. I felt for the first time that I was not alone. When the sun rose, I felt a renewing warmth and gratitude for the sense of closure the walk bestowed upon me. This experience changed my life for the better and I feel inspired to help others and facilitate groups to foster healing in new ways. I no longer chase the sunrise but I'll always be grateful for the journey.
