It's my belief that we serve our children best by allowing them to experience the benefits of doing things for themselves. By instilling confidence in their capabilities, you're helping them develop greater self-esteem.
1) Consider age-appropriate personal responsibilities. For example, perhaps your five year-old can fold clothes, but your eight year-old can do laundry. Then communicate your expectations.
2) Be Specific. I find that children can find a general task overwhelming. They may find directions confusing or vague. A great solution is to create a checklist for added direction. For example, instead of "clean your room" it can read "make your bed, put away your clothes, gather your toys into the bin...".
3) Create Opportunities for Success. Start with a smaller task and use encouraging statements to help your child know that she or he can accomplish it independently. Use positive reinforcements and say more about the efforts you do see your child put forth.
Overall, I realize that this is our ultimate job. We start by providing their every need and then work toward encouraging their self-sufficiency. It's a long journey and an adjustment for us as parents. Know that you're doing a great job!
Be Happy, Be Healthy!
Aysha Hagene, LCPC
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